I should get custom promo pencils made.

I am proud to be the first mother to be banned from my neighborhood's mommy Yahoo group for my militant political views and direct, unabashed language. I thought it was a generally well-educated, liberal group, but the baby-boomer moderator and her posse of oh-so-proud "original" members ganged up on me, feeling threatened by lil' ol' me.

I actually think I got kicked off because they were jealous that I could work Erasmus, Emily Dickinson, and the ex-Presidents into one sentence. Clearly over their heads.

I'd rather be political than popular. I wouldn't want to go out and play pool with those bitches anyway.

(For more about why I got thrown out, read my comment: The Parenting Conversation: Why Time Magazine Piece on "Hip Parents" Gets It Wrong.)