I have a need for speed. And some 360 action.

I am going to Coney Island on Monday.

Ever since San Diego, I've had an addiction to roller coasters and other fear-producing amusement park rides. The weather in NYC is finally getting warm enough for this field trip. I've never been and I've got to go before they tear stuff down.

We missed the 8:30 AM bus.

We killed time at Bryant Park, waiting for the 10:30 AM Chinatown bus.

LushMommy's "Retirement" Dinner

Ruby and me.

Ruby and my son, too cool to be awake.

Choosing my karaoke set.

No one took pictures of the actual singing. Oh well.

*Thanks to Ruby and Skip for rocking out with me. Also thanks to my son's father and my son for braving the cold to represent.

LushMommy's DO NOT DRINK List

First inductee:

Polska Vodka.

This cheap-ass rubbing alcohol fucked me up royally last night. I still taste its toxic haze in the back of my throat and nose even 24 hours after consuming it. When I examined the refreshments table at the party, I thought Polska was quality because it came in a Grey Goose-esque frosted glass bottle (I later discovered it really costs a bargain basement price of $12.99 for 1 liter). It's been so long since I've felt this close to blacking out from drinking. It was déjà vu all over again and it freaked me out.

The last time was 8 years ago, when I drank at home in MD another stock vodka in a plastic bottle. The last thing I remember was being in my kitchen; I didn't realize I'd passed out in my hallway, where I was found naked in a pool of my own vomit. I was rushed to the emergency room for alcohol poisoning and had to swallow charcoal in order to throw up supposed aspirin I threatened to take during this raging-drunk suicide attempt, all of which I do not recall.

The only time I ever tried to commit suicide caused by cheap vodka. I ain't goin' out like that. I swore since then to avoid all vodkas that come in plastic bottles. Now I am expanding the embargo to all vodka brands that cannot afford a billboard advertisement.

Shopping Tips for Vodka: TOP SHELF ONLY. Now that's out of the way, choosing among reputable brands becomes, as I often say, a matter of taste. Another personal anecdote: one night, a couple of months ago, I ordered a vodka tonic while talking to this Tibetan* guy I met at a local bar. Apparently he was a regular there and had some cache with the bar maid, and trying to impress me, he told her to make it with Grey Goose. I interjected, "No, no, Ketel One." That is my number one choice. Second is Stolichnaya, especially its different flavors. Belvedere if I'm feeling ultra-luxe. Tanqueray makes an excellent vodka too, which I loved even before coming to appreciate its more famous gin.

I don't believe the hype either. My opinion: Grey Goose is overrated, Absolut's reputation is more indebted to its legendary advertising campaign than its actual product, and Skyy is just a slickly-packaged crap domestic brand. Okay, your opinion can differ. But whatever, to each their own.

*I refer to him as the "Tibetan" guy not to generalize Tibetan people. The reason is I tried to pick his brain about Buddhism in his homeland but every time he'd pull me to the dance floor to change the subject.

And just for the record, that night the Tibetan guy tried to pick me up (he wouldn't let me order a glass of water, only alcohol), I had been to an office party dinner and another bar beforehand, and had even more ounce for ounce of Tanqueray gin and Ketel One vodka than I had of the Polska last night. I was still standing by the end of the night and perfectly lucid, ready to debate anyone under the table, about politics, religion, etc. No hangover the next day either.

I should get custom promo pencils made.

I am proud to be the first mother to be banned from my neighborhood's mommy Yahoo group for my militant political views and direct, unabashed language. I thought it was a generally well-educated, liberal group, but the baby-boomer moderator and her posse of oh-so-proud "original" members ganged up on me, feeling threatened by lil' ol' me.

I actually think I got kicked off because they were jealous that I could work Erasmus, Emily Dickinson, and the ex-Presidents into one sentence. Clearly over their heads.

I'd rather be political than popular. I wouldn't want to go out and play pool with those bitches anyway.

(For more about why I got thrown out, read my comment: The Parenting Conversation: Why Time Magazine Piece on "Hip Parents" Gets It Wrong.)

What a great day I had in the city!

I was going to my weekly therapy appointment and walking out of the subway station, what should I see standing in the middle of a workday in Midtown Manhattan? Four babywearing moms, conversing.

I had to go up to them and complement them. On closer inspection, the babies were all toddlers! One was nursing too! I was so happy to see mothers just like me, going about their daily lives, doing what I am doing too -- I have babyworn my 28-lb son since birth and continue to give him the benefits of breastfeeding beyond age one.

I chatted them up further -- they were members of the "Slings in the City" group and knew the founder Bianca too. They told me about an attachment parenting Yahoo group that shared my views on mandatory HPV vaccination (the opinions that got me banned from my neighborhood mommy Yahoo group). They totally reinforced my thinking that there are mothers who don't want to be milquetoast about important issues and conform to mainstream thinking, even if the establishment of moms says you have to talk about "poopy diapers," not politics. I felt vindicated.

I wish I took a picture of them. It was priceless.

After my appointment, I went to Maternity Works, an outlet store for the Motherhood maternity and nursing apparel line (plus some more upscale brands). I treated myself to a lace-trimmed gray cotton chemise with matching robe (I love-love lounging robes). It was designed for nursing, but I could definitely wear it after my child weans (it doesn't have odd peekaboo slits that give it away to be easy access to the nipple; it's very cute and comfy as well). The price was a little more than I would pay, but I consider it an investment in a little piece of personal luxury.

I chatted up the salespersons at Maternity Works too. They were two sweet, funny young women, one of which was a single mother of three. They also shared the importance of women, mothers especially, sometimes letting loose from their daily stresses and going out, having unadulterated fun without any shame. The childless girl told me about cool, casual bars in Greenwich Village (ones that I vaguely remember from my sheltered college days at NYU) where flats are more practical than heels. I like those kinds of unpretentious places, divey bars where bikers, beatniks and bankers can share the same counter. I've got to go out more!

This day will go down in the annals of this LushMommy's life. I smiled at the beginning of the day, saying "hi" to elderly ladies I passed in my neighborhood, who probably haven't heard that very often from a Gen X or Y-er. I smile contentedly as I wrap up this post, with my sweet baby boy lying on my lap, as I nurse him to sleep.

I miss arthouse films...

Forget mainstream, R-rated films. It's the unrated foreign or indie films that I miss the most now that I am a mother, especially now that my son is a very aware toddler. As a single mom struggling with her budget too, it is hard to find an excuse for spending $25+ for just a visit to a far off arthouse movie theatre, not to mention the subway time and fare, and the distinct possibility that grisly popcorn and nuked nachos will not satiate my stomach. Then add the hassle of sneaking in a bottle of seltzer and maybe a Quiznos sandwich. On top of that, try coordinating schedules with an ex-boyfriend-turned-parenting-partner who will babysit for free, only if he can raid your fridge. Last but not least, breast engorgement from staying away from my nursing child too long...

At long last, my cable provider, Time Warner, added an "International Movies on Demand" Channel, an offshoot of the "Indie" section on the general "Movies on Demand" Channel. My prayers were somewhat answered — there are some interesting sounding films listed, but many are years old. If I'm looking for the latest Almodóvar film that was just released on DVD, this is not the channel to search.

Yesterday was my second time ordering a Pay-Per-View movie, and both had been from the "International" Channel. (The first was a French period film, A Song of Innocence, about the life of a wetnurse in the 19th century — excellent and resonant film that could be applied to the politics of mothering and breastfeeding today.) Yesterday, I ordered 1996's The Stendhal Syndrome, a tale of a policewoman in Italy hunting for a serial rapist/killer. It stars Asia Argento, who I have a girl-crush on (she is like a cross between Chloë Sevigny and Angelina Jolie; if I were a dyke I'd totally fuck her — actually all three of them) and Thomas Kretschmann, this blond German up-and-coming hottie, who was in King Kong and The Pianist with Adrien Brody.

It was melodramatic, heavy-handed with the dialogue and acting. It was extremely gory and violent, considering it came from Europe and since it's from 1996, it predates the CSI-TV and Saw-movie series. It was also impressively imaginative in its hallucinatory depiction of an actual Stendhal Syndrome sufferer and the viseral nature of this sociopath's crimes. Asia Argento shows off her dichotomous butch/femme side (which is making her hot in Hollywood action films right now) as an avenging riot grrrl on Thomas Kretschmann's disturbingly sexy sadist with washboard abs (his second-fiddle roles in King Kong and The Pianist did not put him on the map for me). (I did not actually finish the climax of the film because Time Warner's On Demand system can be wonky and block your access to content often, even if your account is in good terms. A frequent topic for me with TW reps on their 24-hour hotline.)

I recommend this film if you're cringe-factor is quite resilient, both to violence and Jean Cocteau-esque European cinematic excess. Also, I recommend you put your child down to sleep for the night or a very long nap.

What is a LushMommy?

It is a woman who happens to be a mother, and wants to keep the same identity she had before she had a child. She is entitled to develop her identity further, within and beyond her state of motherhood. She is entitled to have fun and freedom, whether or not she is married, commited or single.

She will always remember she is a mother, but she is still a woman, and sometimes she likes to get her groove on.

Also visit: Mothers for Social Drinking: Statement of Belief